Donnerstag, 5. September 2013

Aufmunterung am Morgen, Mittag oder Abend

Was aufmerksame Kollegen einem so zumailen: Smiley

Quelle: Pete Eccles, UK

Hi guys,
Those wonderful church bulletins!
Thank God for church ladies with computers.
These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

 

  • The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.

 

  • The sermon this morning: “Jesus walks on the water”. The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”

 

  • Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

 

  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

 

  • Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

 

  • Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

 

  • For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs .

 

  • Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

 

  • Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

 

  • A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

 

  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

 

  • Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

 

  • Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

 

  • The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

 

  • Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

 

  • The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

 

  • This evening at 7pm there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

 

  • Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

 

  • The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

 

  • Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

 

  • The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

 

  • Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side    entrance.

 

  • The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:"I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

Cheers,
Pete

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